Behind The Mask
by An3maePhreek
Summary: PU: Lies... All of them... I may run and hide, but I never lie... I never said I wasn't one... [1X2,3X4]
1. Default Chapter

Behind the Mask  
  
Author: An3maePhreek  
  
Rating: NC-17 eventually, but R for now.  
  
Warnings: Duo's POV, angst. For now.  
  
Pairings: 1X2, 3X4  
  
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Lies. All of them. I may run and hide, but I never lie. I never said I wasn't one.  
  
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Hi! My name is Duo Maxwell. I am a guy, and my current profession is that of a Gundam pilot. Yes, one of the Five against those who wish to conquer the known world. I am the sole survivor of the Maxwell Church Massacre.  
  
My moods vary. as I possess a myriad of emotions. I also talk too much, and if you don't believe me, you can ask any one of my friends. I am naïve, idiotic, innocent in the ways of the world, and a loudmouthed baka. The nickname is courtesy of a certain Heero Yuy. I love the color black, and I like to call myself Shinigami, the god of death. My braid is a source of amusement for all, it makes me look girly. My sexual preference. well let's just say I prefer my own gender. We won't go into that right now. Killing is a source of pleasure for me. Life as a Gundam pilot is great, and to sum it up in one word: Heaven.  
  
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The truth about me.  
  
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Duo Maxwell is not my name; that is a lie, for I have no name. In fact, I'm not even male. Unknown to everyone, I am a female. My profession is not of a Gundam pilot, but a con-artist. I stole this position from the previous holder, but I won't be able to prove that, because he is now amongst the dead. I'm one of the Five, but I'm not against those who wish to conquer the known world. I was dead way before that. I am not the sole survivor of the Maxwell Church Massacre, but I am the only remaining one.  
  
I have no emotions. I am. emptiness within a shell and a mask. I may talk, but I don't speak. I have no friends. I am cold, too knowledgeable in the ways of the world, and a silent enigma. I want to believe that Yuy gave me a nickname, but in reality, I know it is an insult. I don't care. I wear the color black, not because I favor it, but because it represents me inside, dead to the world. I don't like to call myself Shinigami, for I am not a self-proclaimed god of death. I am just stating a fact; I am death. I bring it to all who know me. To all, my braid is a symbol that no one dares acknowledge. Homosexuality is not widely accepted, or so they think. It makes me look. exactly the way I want to look. Killing is tedious, and taking of lives is not very amusing. The blood, the gore, the screams that permeate the air. so dramatic, yet it does nothing, not the way it affects the other Gundam pilots. I have no sexual preference, for I cannot feel. Not that I won't feel, but I truly cannot feel. Not one of the other Five know of my past and what I underwent. It is best to leave them in ignorance for they would never understand. A joker's mask is more easily accepted than a heartless shell, I have learned. My past life on L2 and my current one as a member of the famed Five can be summed up in one word: Hell.  
  
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They call him the perfect soldier. I sometimes wonder how perfection can be so flawed. He is not dead, merely suppressed. Through these eyes of mine, I can tell that he feels. Dead eyes of mine, so empty, yet can so clearly see what others fail to.  
  
He possesses an unearthly beauty, an almost ethereal look. Underneath, he is still as. clean as one can get. that makes him. beautiful. We are more alike than he thinks. However, he is cold, not dead, oh no. he isn't as far gone as I am.  
  
No one knows what I am holding back. I don't plan on telling them anytime soon. Everybody assumes that I endanger the mission, that I am the weakest. Surprise, surprise. I am not who you think I am. I have run test after test to see how well I place amongst the Five. I am not surprised that I scored the highest. Every group has at least one fuck-up. Well, whoop de doo. I decided to become that fuck-up. Why? Because then I have a standard to keep up. Instead of the hollow person I am, I portray the exact opposite of everything I am. All of them reacted in the ways I expected them to.  
  
All except him. He is different somehow. He stills threatens me with death, but I can sense inner turmoil within him.  
  
He is the first I've met who embraced Death, instead of abhorring it. That alone makes him. worthy of my time. I find myself. curious of him.  
  
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"MAXWELL!!! HOW DARE YOU PAINT NATAKU PINKKKKKK!!!!!"  
  
"Heh. I guess he found out."  
  
"Hn. Baka."  
  
An angry Wufei stormed into the kitchen where he knew he would find the object of his anger. Spotting him hiding behind Yuy, he immediately stalked over to Heero.  
  
"Yuy, move aside."  
  
"Hn."  
  
And with that Heero moved. What he didn't expect was that Duo would move with him.  
  
"Heh. It's not that easy to catch me, Wu-wu."  
  
"DO NOT CALL ME WU-WU!!!"  
  
Wufei's face turned an ugly mottled red.  
  
"Uh-oh."  
  
Duo, expecting Wufei's wrath, quickly closed his eyes and meeped. When nothing came, he opened his eyes. and found Wufei. smirking.  
  
"I challenge you Maxwell."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I bet you cannot act emotionless, never chatter, never smile, never nice. You have to remain cold. for duration of one month."  
  
Immediately, emotions slid off his face. He asked in a monotone voice.  
  
"What do I get if I win?"  
  
Both Heero and Wufei's jaws dropped. He repeated.  
  
"What do I get if I win?"  
  
Wufei. surprised that there was even this side of Maxwell. replied:  
  
"You get to call me any one of your *shudder shudder* nicknames..."  
  
"Hn. Ke yi. Wo ren yi."  
  
And with that Duo walked off, leaving a Chinese pilot and a Japanese one gawking.  
  
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"Did you ever know that Maxwell could speak Chinese?"  
  
"No. Did you see that face?"  
  
"Yes. Doesn't mean I'll believe it."  
  
All of Gundam pilots, except Duo, were gathered around the kitchen table. Quatre raising his voice said:  
  
"Umm. Guys. I dislike delving into people's minds. but umm. it seems that Duo is. d-dead."  
  
"WHAT!!???" Heero, Trowa, and Wufei, in unison.  
  
"Well. my ability to read feelings has picked up nothing from him. I never bothered trying to feel Duo, because he always seemed so happy, cheerful even. But after that bet, I looked into him, and I found nothing. I have a very bad feeling about this."  
  
With that Duo walked in.  
  
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Hn. I couldn't resist giving them a taste of what they were missing. But at what price. I do not know. When Chang challenged me, I thought. oh great, another battle in which I would have to fake my losing. But now. finally something I can do with. pleasure.  
  
Beware, you do not know what you got yourselves into. the joker's mask is gone, though temporarily. you will not know when he will strike. And strike I will.  
  
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Silence filled the room, instantly. Not a sound was heard. Duo stalked over to the table, sat down, and instead of posing in one of his usual positions, he sat rigid, even more so than Heero. Everybody watched on, as Duo did not move, did not speak, did not even blink. Quatre walked over to where Duo sat, and waved his hand in front of Duo's face. Nothing. Not even a look to acknowledge Quatre. Quatre withdrew his hand and sat back down. No one spoke a word. All watched as Duo remained the way he was, and observed how still he seemed. how utterly devoid he was.  
  
Finally, the amethyst eyes moved. Those eyes, the same that laughed, twinkled, expressed. were lifeless. If he were not sitting there, his eyes moving. they would've thought him truly, utterly dead. His face bespoke nothing. and everything. He slowly got up, his clothing not even rustling, and walked away. Despite the fact that he was walking away right before them, there were no sounds of footsteps walking away.  
  
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A/N: So watcha think.? Well. please review. when I get ten reviews. I'll update. All of you who have read my story: The Irony of Love (which is still ongoing) will know the drill. hehehehe. 


	2. Musings

Behind the Mask Author: An3maePhreek Rating: NC-17 eventually, but R for now. Warnings: Duo's POV, angst. For now. Pairings: 1X2, 3X4  
  
Shinigami is back.  
  
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I thought it unlikely.. Rare.. but not impossible. A different persona seemed.. almost fun.. but then again I never expected it to be all I died for. Yes.. not lived.. died. I died for the sake of being hidden from this world.. if not for a lifetime, then for one brief moment, a moment where my mask would reign, and nothing would exist for me. It was nearly amusing, how I could feel.. but it was just a momentary lapse of judgment. Death cannot be taken back. The dead cannot relive. But a flicker of desire has been ignited.. the desire to experience death in the living. To bring death to the world..It gives a whole new meaning to the living dead.. the living dead.. hmm.. I think I almost like the sound of that.  
  
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Heero found him in the room they shared, sitting on the window sill with his legs drawn to his chest and head turned towards the window, looking out. He stood there for a moment.. letting everything sink into him. He wanted to ask so many questions..but he didn't. He would get replies, but he knew he wouldn't get an answer.  
  
Then Duo turned around and looked into him. Time stood still for that brief moment. Violet met Prussian blue eyes. And his heart stopped..  
  
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Flawed perfection that he is. He has always said that emotions were for the weak. But then again, he always said I was weak. Contradictory I suppose. For I do not feel, therefore I am not weak. I see him. I know him. I feel him, but I.. cannot feel. Perhaps he is an exception. Different, always different; Heero, the one to my two. I. .think I'm starting to enjoy my stay out of the perimeters I've set for myself..  
  
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.. and he couldn't breathe, the nothingness intensified. He couldn't look away, those eyes, if only.. He wanted the person in front of him..  
  
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I want him.. oh god, how I want him. I want him to feel.. I want him to touch.. I want him to love.. me. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't want to replace the emptiness in those violet eyes. I shouldn't want him to look at me with love. I shouldn't.. but I could. I could feel this way. I could replace the emptiness. I could have him looking at me with love in those eyes, those violet eyes.. Ninmu Ryoukai. Mission accepted..  
  
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.. those violet eyes looked away.. time resumed..  
  
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A/N so whatcha think.. I know I know.. very short chappie.. but I hope you like the way I wrote it.. If you have any questions.. feel free to ask.. when you review of course..  
  
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS:  
  
#1 reviewer: Kanberry: Thank you thank you thank you very much. and I would gladly email you about the updates.  
  
#2 reviewer: Nelia Black: lol. nice visual of Wu-man. Very accurate prediction, might I say *wink wink.* Oh and thank you. I think I outdid my self this time.  
  
#3 reviewer: Hellcat: of course. why would I make him female then? *lol* aneways. yea. I probably should've left him male. but as a female, it gives me new ideas. lol. work with me here. I promise it'll be worthwhile  
  
#4 reviewer: Ketami: Wow. kicked ass.. hmm. I like that. OF COURSE IT'S A 1X2. I'm a big fan of 1X2. I would kick myself if I didn't make it a 1X2. ooo *drools* pocky.  
  
#5 reviewer: Midnight-kisses: sori.. no can do. but I updated ne? Now you know what is happening. well. partially  
  
#6 reviewer: Shinikaru Bahitsu: Freaky? Thus the name: An3maePhreek, and here it is continued for your reading pleasure.  
  
#7 reviewer: Me: Thank you . thank you very much *sounding like Elvis, god knows why*  
  
#8 reviewer: secret: well. sorry to tell you but you're gonna continue feeling frustrated at not knowing what's next until I update, cuz I tend to leave it at cliffhangers. Hope you don't stop reading because of that. *chibi eyes*  
  
#9 reviewer: Helena: Thank you. I thought, that this would fit Duo well. superficial ain't the way to go. for me at least.  
  
#10 reviewer: Nyx: Well. everybody thank this reviewer. #10. Without this reviewer. nobody would've gotten an update. Thank you, glad you love it.  
  
#11 reviewer: Shace: thank you thank you thank you. I loved your story.  
  
#12 reviewer: Kinoshi: lol. creepy. Duo. sorry I can't see it. Lol j/k. aneways you will find out soon enough.  
  
THANK YOU GUYS!!!! I LOVE THE FEEDBACK!!!! 10 more reviews. and the next ones up. promise. lol 


	3. And so it begins

Behind the Mask Author: An3maePhreek Rating: NC-17 eventually, but R for now. Warnings: Duo's POV, angst. For now. Pairings: 1X2, 3X4  
  
A/N: Thank you for those lovely reviews. after reading this chappie, scroll a lil more down to find an answer to your review for the previous chappie. hehe  
  
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I could sense those eyes on me. Those eyes... burned into me, looked through me, peered into the deepest recesses of my mind to find... nothing. When I looked away, it....... pained me to do so. Those eyes... won't stop looking... won't stop... Oh gods... stop it... stop looking... sto-  
  
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Heero caught Duo before he could fall to the ground. Nearly staggering with the precious weight, he started moving toward the bed. When he reached the black sheets, he carefully placed Duo onto the bed, slowly... gently. He slid his arm out from under, and cautiously tucked the blankets over the black clad body. He sat down on the edge of the bed, watching...  
  
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How many hours passed, I do not know, but I sat there... watching him... I felt content just to be by his side. Those long lashes, his hair, his face. Sleeping, I can gaze upon each and every single feature; observe, remember, store, and lock them away into my heart. I lie down next to him, on my side, looking at him... watching his chest rise and fall... I smile to myself, and my eyes closed...  
  
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Quatre, having knocked softly repeatedly on the door, finally turned the door knob slowly, and peered inside. He searched the room, until his eyes drifted upon his two friends, lying on the same bed... Duo was leaning onto Heero's shoulder, tucked underneath Heero's chin, his arm around Heero's waist, murmuring incoherently. Heero.... was holding Duo close... with a smile graced upon his lips...  
  
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Wufei was getting impatient waiting for the rest of the pilots to come down and eat dinner. Quatre went to get Heero and Duo, but didn't come down. Ten minutes later, Trowa was worried, and went up to find out what's wrong... Now a full half an hour later, Wufei couldn't wait any longer, so he headed up to find out.  
  
He found them in front of Heero and Duo's room looking through slightly open door.  
  
"What's the big- "  
  
"SHHHHHHH!!!" Both Quatre and Trowa had their pointer finger to their lips, shushing him.  
  
"Wha- "  
  
"Quiet. can't you see they are sleeping?" whispered Quatre.  
  
Wufei went up to the door and peered through the crack. He spotted the pair immediately, and blushed. He turned around and marched straight back down to the kitchen.  
  
"Don't they make a cute couple?"  
  
"... Yes."  
  
Quatre turned around and found emerald green eyes staring intently into his. He blushed... and walked around Trowa to get to the stairs. As he was heading down, he grinned to himself, his cheeks slightly tinted pink.  
  
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A/N: SO WHATCHA THINK??? WELL TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK......... WHEN YOU REVIEW!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA..;  
  
NOTES TO REVIEWERS:  
  
Midnight-Kisses: Thank you... I think.  
  
Christina: Thank you for those lovely compliments... but plz. No more. I'll develop an ego.  
  
Hellcat: Sorry to disappoint you again, but I put out another short chappie. *pouts* and you are right about the quickness... but I'll state my reasonings later... it's gonna be one hell of a procedure... *snicker snicker*  
  
Ketami: Arigatou gozaimasu *,*  
  
Nanashi Kage Enjeru: Dead as in emotions dead. Thank you.  
  
Nanashi Kage Enjeru: It's okay... I don't mind.........* snicker snicker* well. pocky is a cracker stick coated with crème... there are many flavors... chocolate, strawberry, and I think vanilla...  
  
Shini II: Thank you... and don't worry, you're not the only reviewer who would've liked it with Duo as a boy.  
  
Shini II: Yes it does. And it is my civic duty as an author to get you hook on my fanfiction. what kinda reader wants to read crappy 1X2 fanfiction... *looking cautiously around* not that I've ever read a crappy 1X2 fanfiction... and no thank you... your review is enough for me to update... sorry to make you wait so long tho.  
  
Shace: Man oh man... I worship you... your story blows my mind... literally.... X.X lol, here happy I update lol. 


	4. Chapter 04

~* Chapter Four *~  
  
A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates... But to those of you who have reviewed and wondered why I was dead to the world... this should be a treat... Lol... I have updated on "The Irony of Love", "Mail Order Bride", and this story... haha... I hope you enjoy this little Valentine's gift.  
  
~*~  
  
What is it that makes me who I am? I do not understand. What is it about it that makes this beloved mask crack... Can anyone tell me? Stop... Stop looking at me... Stop it... Please... Stop...  
  
"STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
The shriek awoke all occupants of the building. Footsteps rushed into the room where the horrible yell emanated. The door flung open, and light befell the two figures on the bed. Heero was trying to keep Duo still, but his arms were shaking badly.  
  
"Heero... Heero, what's wrong?" Quatre's voice shook as he spoke.  
  
"He-he's ... b-bb-bleeding. H-HE'S CRYING FUCKING RED TEARS, QUATRE!!! HELP ME!!!"  
  
As all three rush toward the bed, Quatre clutches his heart, his eyes bulging, and his veins visible. Harsh tremors wracked throughout his body and all he could do was choke out three words.  
  
"Kill... Me... NOW!!"  
  
The three pilots could only watch, stunned and helpless to do anything about what was happening.  
  
As soon as the situations started, it abruptly ended. Duo lay still and the blood stopped flowing. Quatre relaxed, his body slowly settling down. As all eyes gazed in horror at the figure on the bed, eyelids flutter open, revealing red irises.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Okays... No more thank yous and apologies... Cuz I've had enough of that during the other two updates... Lol... Gomen nez... okay... that's the only replies I'm giving.. haha... I know... really short... but there will ... and I repeat... there will be an update before next Sunday. Which is the ... lesee... 22nd... okays... that's all folks. 


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